What the Hell Happened?
by PsYcho KiYone
Summary: Ummmm...I wrote this when I was really out of it....


What the Hell Happened?

by Me ^_~

"Hey Jesse, look what we got in the mail," James exclaimed,"it's a video!"

"How To Not Be a Loser..." Jesse said. 

"We don't need that!"she yelled.

"Jeeessse, let's just watch it ..maybe it'll help us!Pleeaase!" James whined.

"Okay, fine!!" Jesse yelled.

Jesse, James, and Meowth watched the video.

Three hours later, James and Meowth are asleep...Jesse is still watching the video and scheming up lotsa happy ideas.

"I got it!" she screamed and jumped on James to wake him up.

"AHHHHH! What is it?!" he yelled.

"Are we still losers?" Meowth yawned and was ignored.

"I've got the perfect plan!" Jesse smiled evilly.

"Riiiiiiiiighht...." Meowth said and Jesse gave him a dirty look.

"Tell us, tell us!" James shrieked with joy.

Jesse told them the plan and right away they got to work. A few hours later team rocket had built a ketchup factory in the middle of a trail Ash, Misty, Brock, and Pikachu were walking on. As soon as they approached the ketchup factory, Team Rocket came out cleverly disguised as ketchup factory workers ^_^ and made poor Ash and all them sample all their ketchup. Pikachu was happy ^_^.

"Here, try dis ketchup & fruit mix ketchup...it's free.." Meowth shoved the samples in their mouths.

They all got this funkified expression.

"PIKACHU!!!!!" (Yummy! More...I need MORE!!!) 

"I see you have a Pikachu..heeeheeeheeheeehahahahahaha...! ummm...." James the Ketchup Factory Worker said.

"For only the price of nothing your Pikachu can indulge in a rich, rejuvenating ketchup bath...it's especially for pokemon.." Jesse said with a big grin.

"PIKACHUPIKACHUPIKACHUPIKACHUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!" Pikachu sounded off. A ketchup bath sounded really good to him.

Team Rocket grabbed Pikachu. "You all just wait here in the ...uhhh...Ketchup Factory Waiting Room..heehee...Yes, that's right!" Jesse looked at Ash, Misty and Brock.

"...I thought this was the Ketchup Factory Sampling Room....." Ash said to himself.

"To the Ketchup Bathroom!" Team Rocket yelled and headed out a door that said 'EXIT' really big on it.

"I wonder how long we'll have to wait..." Misty said after five minutes of waiting,"I'm getting impatient!"

"Shut up!"Ash yelled at her.

"NO!" Misty yelled back.

"Stop fighting you two!" Brock yelled at them.

"SHUT UP, BROCK!!" Ash and Misty said in unison.\

...And so an hour went by...

After a big arguement they decided to see what was going on in the room. So, they opened the door and saw.......

....the rest of the trail they had been on ^_^. On the ground was a note that said 'HAHA! We got Pikachu!' and a red rose. 

"NOOOOOO!!!! TEAM ROCKET GOT PIKACHU!!!" Ash cried out.

"This is all your fault, Misty! Without Pikachu I'll never become a pokemon master!!" he yelled.

"This isn't my fault...it's your fault....and Brock's fault! Misty yelled right back.

"Not again....ugghhh...this isn't my fault! Stop fighting!" Brock shouted.

"NOOOO!!" Misty and Ash yelled at him.

"Ash your such a dumbass...I HATE YOU!" Misty screamed and ran off.

"I hate you too!" Ash replied.

"We can get Pikachu back, Ash, we just have to..." Brock was interrupted.

"NO! I give up..without Pikachu I can't be a pokemon master! I quit...good bye, Brock." Ash yelled and stormed off. 

"Ash! Come back!" Brock yelled. Umm..too late he was gone.

~TWO YEARS LATER~

Ash walked down the streets of Neon City and he spotted a strip bar...so he disguised himself as a 8ft tall penguin and walked right in.

"Hey, you can't just walk in here like that! Where's your i.d., Mr.Penguin?" asked a man at the entrance of the strip bar.

"HAHAHAHAhahaha...uhh..silly man, penguins don't use i.d.s! They don't need them!" Ash said.

"Oh Okay ^_^," the man smiled,"Go right ahead then."

Ash walked in to see all kindsa male dancers on a stage in funkified costumes start dancing and stripping.

No one seemed surprised to see a giant penguin walk in.

Ash walked over to the bar where he ordered more and more and more drinks. After five shots of vodka and eight beers...Ash was drunk off his ass.

Suddenly, a new dancer came on stage...it was Brock in a rainbow fuzzy speedo and he had his nipples pierced! He was holding a cute little pink flowery umbrella.

He started to do the dance of seduction. Ash was way too drunk to recognize Brock and Brock did not know the sexay, sexay penguin was Ash. But Brock gave the mysterious penguin a lapdance..Ash put all his money in Brock's speedo. 

Later, Brock took the intriguing drunk penguin to his home, the tiny room above the gay strip bar. ^_^

Brock wants to have some kinky fun.

"Hey, you're not a penguin," Brock said noticing the zipper on Ash's costume,"let's see who you really are!"

Brock unzipped the costume, "ASH!?" 

Brock fainted. Ash fell over.

~NEXT DAY~

"Soo...that's when you became a stripper...okay, Brock.." Ash said.

"What!? Females never liked me! And I'm not the one putting on a penguin costume and going to a gay strip bar!" Brock said.

"Well....I'm not the one who works at the gay strip bar!" Ash laughed.

"Grrrrr!" Brock grrred.

"Soo....have you heard from Misty since we split up?" Ash asked.

"Nope." Brock replied.

"Ooh...ok." 

They got bored so they went out and walked around the city and saw a girl on a streetcorner wearing a tight neon green dress, pink and black striped tights, and funkified green boots flirting with a 75yearold hairy fat man.

"MISTY?!" 

"Uggghhh...uhhhhh.ummm...Get away from me, old man!" Misty yelled at 75yrold man and pushed him away.

"Ash? Brock? Wow...it's been a while.." Misty said.

"Umm...Are you a prostitute, Misty?" Ash asked.

"No...well, yes, well.....part time...yeah!" Misty replied. 

They went to Misty's apartment to find her lesbian lover, Jesse!

"What happened to James?" Brock asked and Jesse started crying.

"Ever since James was abducted by aliens, Jesse has not been the same.." Misty said.

Rose petals fell from the ceiling and a blue mist fogged up the room.

James reappeared and Jesse stopped crying.

Jesse ran up to him and hugged him.

James is now the SEXIEST MAN ALIVE and every female in the universe wanted him! But James didn't want all those other females..he wanted Jesse to marry him and become the SEXIEST WOMAN ALIVE and they could rule the world together forever! ^_^

"Jesse.....will you marry me and become the SEXIEST WOMAN ALIVE!?" James was on his knees.

"Yes!" Jesse said. She was really happy but also really stunned.

"AWWWWWW!!!" said everyone in the room except Brock.

Brock was jealous. James had everything he wanted: to be the sexiest man alive, to have women be in love with you.....the reason why Brock became a gay male dancer is because no woman was ever attracted to him. Brock wanted revenge! GRRR! 

"Hey.....wait a second...what happened to Pikachu?" Ash asked.

"Well, after we captured him we realised he wasn't all that special and we didn't need him after all so we let him go." Jesse said.

James added on, "Meowth fell in love with Pikachu and ran off with him to start a new life as the new Power Rangers."

"Oh....Okay." Ash replied.

Jesse and James got married and brought Ash, Misty, and Brock on their honeymoon. They went on a cruise to Bermuda.

The sky turned rainbow and giant perverted eyeballs floated in the sky.

Uh oh! They were trapped in the Twilight Zone/Bermuda Triangle.

It didn't seem to bother anyone. Jesse and James locked themselves in the Honey Moon Suite for the whole cruise so they could have kinkay sex. Jesse made sure to bring the whips, chains, handcuffs, and the whipped cream, honey, and strawberries. While that was going on Ash, Misty, and Brock explored the boat.

Lotsa women were hitting on Brock when they were walkng on the deck. They noticed it was snowing and the snow tasted like hotdogs. Brock got invited to a dance party by a sexay lady named Victoria.

They went to the party dressed all sexay. There was lotsa people there. Brock started dancing with Victoria and Ash danced with Misty. Suddenly, Brock and Victoria rolled onto the floor, making out.

The magical shemale fairy, Gary, came POOF out of no where. He decided he wanted to cause some trouble so he impregnated Misty with his magical plunger. He gave Misty a test tube plunger baby. 

The giant perverted eye balls spied on Jesse and James in the Honeymoon Suite. The giant eyeballs were really cameras and they taped everything that went on in the room. And everything that had been taped had been on national television.

Suddenly, the cruise ship escaped the beruda triangle and some things returned to normal but they were still in the twilight zone. 

Misty gave birth to her baby and well... nobody could really decide who was the daddy or who could be the daddy b/c the baby had James' hair, Brock's eyes, Ash's brilliant intelligent, and Misty's body...and it was a boy ^_^.

Misty just blamed it on Ash.

"DAMNIT!" He said.

Suddenly all the sexay people at the dance party except for Brock, Ash, and Misty turned into saggy, wrinkly, old ladies having a sexay underwear party. Brock was still kissing Victoria but Victoria was really a saggy old wrinkly lady with a mustache too. 

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Brock screamed after kissing her then ran out of the room. He jumped off the boat and fell to his watery doom. He was eaten by swimming vampire bears.

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!" screamed.......hahahaahaha NOBODY!

Everyone came out of the Twilight Zone and was fine...well not really...

The boat finally got to Bermuda. Jesse and James discovered their kinkay honeymoon had been broadcast live across the whole universe. Because of this, Jesse and James went into hiding. 

Then suddenly, the world blew up and nothing else could happen because nothing else existed .

THE END! (for now..heheh)


End file.
